Virtual Therapy for
individuals and couples in California.
I'm Angelina Aliav, a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, passionate about helping my clients improve their quality of life by recognizing the choices available to them, and empowering them to make decisions that are aligned with their values. So many of us suffer because we feel powerless in our lives. I'm here to help you reclaim your agency, and uplift you as you navigate your wellness & growth journey.
4 PILLARS OF MY THERAPEUTIC APPROACH
Intent Listening:
My primary purpose is to create a safe and welcoming space for you to express yourself fully. I am dedicated to actively listening to your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with genuine empathy and without judgment. I want to understand you on a deep level, respecting your perspective and providing you with the assurance that your voice & experieces matter and are valued.
Psychoeducation:
I leverage my education and experience to offer you tools that break unhelpful patterns and propel you towards your goals. My objective is to help you recognize your available resources, fostering empowerment in your life. You can expect occasional homework assignments and in-session exercises to supplement talk therapy.
Keen Observation:
A significant part of my job is to pay attention to the patterns of thought & behavior emerging from session to session. Like a mirror, I will reflect these observations to you so you can gain insight. I will also share with you my personal reactions at times so we can evaluate if the way I'm experiencing you in our session is how others may be experiencing you out in the real world.
Socratic Guidance:
I use socratic questioning to aid you in attuning to your internal compass & making decisions that align with your values (not mine). In other words, my role is to guide you to your own anwers, not to tell you how to live your life. I will also share interpretations to help you gain insight.
Specialties
Anxiety is uncomfortable and reduces the quality of life, even when mild. However, it can be completely debilitating when it manifests itself into panic attacks. Anxiety may manifest itself as difficulty breathing, difficulty sleeping, racing thoughts, uncontrollable worries, rapid heart rate, and more.
Anxiety is the body's way of saying it feels in danger. We need to remind our body that we are not in actual danger most of the time -- so we start by using mindfulness techniques to ground ourselves and feel "safe" again. Once we feel grounded and safe, we can do the deeper work of figuring out what the root of anxiety is. We will explore the thoughts you are having (thoughts give rise to emotions), and learn to evaluate them and reframe them so we are experiencing a more accurate version of reality that doesn't lead us into anxiety, but rather helps us make decisions from a place of calm.
Anxiety is telling us something important about our live not being aligned with our values. We need to get in under control so we can start making appropriate decisions to realign us with our values. Otherwise, anxiety controls us and we have a hard time making wise choises.
Couples counseling is effective for couples who are experiencing difficulty communicating, experiencing an unfulfilling relationship, or difficulty coping with a new change (e.g. a birth, a loss, a transition, a traumatic event, etc.). Couples counseling is not effective for couples in which domestic violence is present. Please seek individual therapy if you are a victim of domestic violence.
In couples therapy, we will discover the patterns in your communication dynamics and learn tools to effectively break this patterns. Many times, the issues are issues of interpretations. What we say and what our partner understands us say are different, leading to misunderstanding and conflict. Defensiveness, contempt, criticism and withdrawing take place, furthering us from one another. Learning to turn towards one another, as oppposed to away from one another, take vulnerability and courage, and it yields stronger and more fulfilling relationships. We will work together to help you both focus on what you can each do to enhance the relationship.
When we work together, my goal is to help you both feel like you're on the same team again. That is what marriage is -- two team members working together to build a life. We will work on effective communications skills, enhanced emotional connection, enhanced sexual satisfaction and resolving conflict. We will also work on learning to appreciate one another's differences, rather than see them as threats, and how to use our partner's strengths and limitations to grow as individuals and thrive as a couple.
So many times we want to end the relationship because working on it feels impossible, pointless or too much work. Keep in mind, many times, even if we end the relationship, we will bring the same triggrers, baggage, and patterns into the next relationship. We may as well try to work on them now. You've already invested so much.
Depression sometimes feels like you finally see the "truth" and it's dark and miserable. And it's really hard to climb out of because when we feel depressed, we behave in ways that actually make us more depressed -- like not showering, not leaving the house, not reaching out to our friends, not eating wholesome food, etc. This is a negative feedback loop that leads to a downward spiral. When it comes to depression, we need to first challenge ourselves to get out of that spiral.
Depression is many times due to thinking about things from a perspective in which we are helpless, dependent on others for change, or focused on things that are impossible to change (like the past, or someone else's behavior). I'm here to validate your perspective and be a safe person for you to share your feelings, and I'm also here to help you see a more realistic perspective in which you do have control over your life and empower you to take it back. You have one life -- you deserve to at least give it a try to live more fully and happier. You have nothing to lose by doing so.
Life transitions, while universal, can feel incredibly isolating and can create huge identity shifts. Common life transitions include: a birth of a child, a death of a loved one, marriage, break-up (romantic, friendship), loss of a job, health changes, moving to a new place, etc.
With life transitions, anxiety and depression can follow. I am here to help you cope with the change in a healthier way. Together we can process what's going on, learn tools to manage the situation, and gain insight about what this change in bringing up in you.
Fulfilling relationships are integral to our mental health, so when things are tense or a relationship is ruptured, it can result in immense heartache, stress and suffering. While we cannot change or control another person, we have complete control over ourselves. Together, we can process the relationship difficulty you're experiencing, and look inward to evaluate what you want from this relationship and what role this relationship is playing in your life. Additionally, I will teach you tools for managing your emotions in high intensity relationships and times of conflict, ways to more effectively communicate, and set healthy boundaries in a respectful way.
Relationships are a dance between people. If you focus on changing the other person, you're wasting valuable energy and chances are, your discconect with the other person grows. Focusing on your role in the dynamic, and how you can act differently, will disrupt the pattern in place. So even though you're not changing the other person, the other person will no longer be able to engage with you the same way. Many times, we see positive change in the dyamic over time, just from changing our part in the dynamic.
It's not uncommon for us to have a point in life in which we feel like we don't know who we are anymore, and feel like we are out of touch with ourselves. This is especially true for new parents and those in mid-life, but can happen to anyone at anytime. "Who am I?" is code word for "I don't feel fulfilled in life." My approach to handle these thoughts and feelings is to help get you in touch with what's important to you and what you value. Together, we will help you embrace yourself and what you have to offer. You have one job in this world - it's to be yourself! Each one of us has a unique contribution to this world, and it's time to tap into that.
Marriage is traditionally a lifelong commitment and who you marry is arguably the most important decision you can make. (A lot of pressure, right?) Premarital counseling is integral to increase your chances of a successful and happy long-term relationship. Together, we will explore values and goals for life (religion, children, in-laws, finances, careers, partner roles, etc.), learn effective communication strategies, and evaluate strengths and growth areas in each other. The idea is that you both feel like you're on the same page and are true partners as your enter matrimony.
Are you a new parent or struggling with raising your little ones? The transition to parenthood is challenging - from the loss of freedom, to the unpredictability and chaos that comes with the role, and the immense pressure to be the perfect parent, it's a lot. It becomes increasingly challenging when you realize that your children are pushing emotional triggers for yourself! Our children make it clear to us where our inner child is feeling neglected, overwhelmed, scared, etc. Moreover, our children learn how to be humans by watching us. Therefore, therapy is an essential way for us to grow into the people that we want our children to look up to and emulate (whether we want it or not, they will). Through therapy, I provide my clients tools to self-regulate when they are feeling overwhelemed by their emotions, as well as effective strategies with dealing with your children's meltdowns, resistance, and more. I approach my sessions both with clinical expertise as well as personal experience, being a mom myself.
Individual Therapy
$150 per 50 min session
Couples Therapy
$175 per 50 min session
Premarital Counseling
$150 per 50 min session
Contact Angelina
I offer you a free 30-min video consultation so you can decide if I'm the right therapist for you.
© 2024 Angelina Aliav, LMFT #137334. All rights reserved.
818-743-9498 | TherapywithAngelina@gmail.com
Servicing Los Angeles & California residents via telehealth
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